What a busy Weekend!

To say that I am tired is an understatement! I am EXHAUSTED. (ZzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) I can barley stay awake as I sit here! I know Mike is feeling the same way! Mike's brother and Family (Chris, Melissa, Dominic and Francesca) are home in Olean for a couple days before they leave to visit Aunt Melissa's family in Trafford, PA. We made the trip to Olean Saturday afternoon, to visit with them for a little while and attend the local parade & carnival. It was really fun actually. Growing up it the city we never had local little parades like that. The parader's (is that a word?) Threw candy to all the kids watching on the sides, so of course, our kids were chomping down! After the parade we walked down the local carnival and thanks to GG's friend Alberta, put all the kids (and some adults too!) on a few rides. Melissa and I of course had to share a fried dough, who goes to a carnival and passes that up?? I must be pretty boring since I did pass up the taffy however. If I would have bit into that thing, I for sure would have lost all of my teeth! So I was a good girl and said No. Colin is so funny about rides, He hates every bit of them, fusses, throws a fit, until they start to go, then he is all smiles! Well except for the pony ride, he wasn't quite fond of that one at all. Caden did SO amazing as well! It was so nice to see him interact with his cousins and enjoy spending time with them. In the past, he would be in one spot and they would be in another. While walking to the parade on Saturday night, Caden was in the middle of Dominic and Francesca and all of them were holding hands. It was too cute! Bummer I still don't have a camera since the boys lost my cable to charge it, so I'll have to steal some of Melissa's pictures once she posts them (thanks!) By the time all was said and done, we got back to GG's house around 9:15, threw the boys in the shower super fast, got on PJ's and hit the road by 9:35- how is that for quick work?! We got home exhausted just after 11 - and not into be bed until close to midnight. Unfortunately Courtney couldn't join us on Saturday, since it was her best friends birthday sleepover. Bummer.

Needless to say, we were woke bright early Sunday morning by Colin at about 6:25- His new internal alarm time apparently. Yuck. So we got up dressed ready and headed out the door by 9:00am to pick up Courtney from Alyssa's house and then make the drive out to Erie PA to meet the clan for lunch and then splash lagoon. (May I mention too that Colin was asleep by 9:10 hm... maybe if we slept later then 6am????) The GPS somehow directed us to a "phantom" Quiznos's sub place, so after much detouring and little bit of yelling at the GPS and some impatience, we ended up at Subway, which is just as good. After lunch to the water park we headed. We spent the rest of the day enjoying the hot tubs, taking turns on the water slides and playing who wants the catch the boys at the bottom of the kids water slides. :-) Caden was having an off day, he didnt' really enjoy the water slides at all and was even a little bit nervous when he went down the kiddie ones. I was really surprised. He mostly wanted to go in the lazy river or go in the big hot tub with us and swim on his own (it is only about 3.5 feet deep) Dominic joined us in the hot tub at one time and him and Caden held hands and walked the perimeter. Caden LOVED it! GG watched the boys for Mike and I so we could go down 2 water slides alone. It was the first time EVER since we've been together, dating, married etc, that we've been able to go down a water slide together. Imagine we've always had children in our relationship, so we never really had that time "before" kids. The cruise ship we're going on in October has water slides, so we'll have to be sure to take some advantage of the kids being home! I must add as well that 2 heavier people really do create some speed on those things! Holy cow were we every flying!

After Splash Lagoon, we all went to Friday's for dinner and enjoyed some family time. Well most of us did anyway. I spent alot of time out side pushing a miserable, over tired Colin in the stroller since that was the only thing that would calm him down. I am pretty sure his ears are still bothering him. he's been on his meds for a few days now, but with running around here and there, we did miss a couple doses. I am just hoping they will redo the surgery so we can get past this part! by the time we were done with dinner it was close to 7, and I didn't pack PJ's, but did have an extra set of clothes, so we wiped the boys down with wipes, changed and got settled and headed home. Colin was asleep before we were even on the entrance ramp and Caden was about 5 minutes behind him. Colin ended up staying asleep the entire ride, and woke up for a little while when we got home, but stayed in bed. I did notice most of the ride home too, that even though he was sleeping his was digging his ear alot. which tells me his is in a lot of pain still. Caden woke up before we got home, but was still too tired to do much, so he just laid awake in bed while Mike and I got ready for bed. THEN came the thunder! Awh. yuck. Caden was up. we finally got him settled again around 9:15. Mike and I grabbed some frozen lemon yogurt (YUM!!) and went in the garage to enjoy the thunder and lightning show. How awesome that was!

We really had a great weekend. the Distance between all of really sucks, but just makes the time we do get to spend together that much more enjoyable. One of these times, we need to get a sitter, and Mike and I, Chris and Melissa just go out as adults and enjoy the company. Since there has always been distance, that has never happened. I think it would be really enjoyable! Maybe next visit.

For now, I can't wait to get home and go to bed. Wait, what is bed? We have dinner, dishes, laundry, gymnastics, baths, house cleaning...... sleep will come, in 18 years!

Big Boy Beds & Father's day

So Colin is now a "big boy" in his full size bed. Boy you sure don't realize how small your rooms are either until you go from crib to double bed! It's so big for him, he looks so tiny in it! I wish so much that I could have gotten pictures of all of it, but unfortunately we still can't find the power cord for our camera charger, which really stinks! Those who know me, know that I need to take pictures always! I feel so lost this past week, we've missed so many great photo ops!

Which brings me to my next topic. Fathers day!

We had a great Father's day! We did a whole dinosaur theme for Mike, from the wrapping paper, to dinosaur chocolates, to little play dino's. Then he found the tickets in the "walking with Dinosaurs" show that him, Courtney and Caden will go to on Wednesday night. I bought the tickets for him about 4 months ago and have been hiding it since them! So in addition to that, he got 3 new shirts, a cookie cake, balloon and my dad, Cheryl and Mom came over and we had a yummy cookout and some steaks on the grill courtesy of my dad! It turned out to be a nice relaxing day and Mike is SUPER excited about those tickets for Wednesday! ( I am jealous! We just couldn't afford for all of us to go.)

Saturday afternoon we went to a graduation party for Aunt Leah, who graduated from College a couple weeks ago. What a crappy day it was! It was about 64 and rainy all day long! but we had a nice time. Caden actually interacted quite a bit with other children as well as adults. He even practiced saying Leah's Uncle Joe's name! I thought it was the best! He really is coming along great. So although we were nice and chilly, wet and muddy, we still had fun, and Congrats to Aunt Leah!

Missing Les Bug

Today Marks the 1 year anniversary since Grandpa Les Bug passed away from Cancer last June. Just one day shy of his wedding day to my mom. Dam Cancer. Evil Cancer. Words can't describe how horrible it was. For only 6 short months did Les fight with all he had to beat the news he received the January prior. Unfortunately the cancer was too fast and spidered everywhere, in the end, thanks to Niagara Hospice, he passed peacefully, with those of us who Loved him most right by his side holding his hands, rubbing his cheeks and telling him it would be OK. I will never as long as I live forget those hours and last moments. I've never experienced anything like that before and it will be forever embedded in me. The passing of one of the most special people to come into all of our lives. The man who taught my mom so much about life and unconditional love. Again. Dam Cancer! About a month or so ago while cleaning out a cabinet I found the letter that Mike wrote to Les and was read at his funeral. I've held on tight to that since that day, knowing that today, I would post it, so we would forever have it with us. This is from Mike, here it is:

Everyone who knew Les, knew that he was a wonderful Man. If something was broke or a new project was to be built, he would show up with his tool belt and tools to fix your problems or to build something for you. He did this out of the kindness of his heart. Never wanting pay, just a large Pizza and bucket of wings. Then it is right back to to work.

Most of all he loved his family very much. Especially his daughter Krista, son Brian, Granddaughter Deshea and his 8 year companion, my mother in Law Sue, whom he was going to marry this past Saturday.

Though my wife and my kids were not technically his family, in our hearts he was. He was like a father to my to my wife and I and a grandfather to my kids. He would always take the time to help us with anything or just be there for some advice.

He was a strong man, even though the cancer got to him physically, he always stayed positive and had a great attitude and kept fighting until the final moments of his life.

He has great family members who stayed by his bedside to the end, around the clock. He died knowing his whole family was there with him, giving him love and praying for him.

We can take comfort in knowing that he has no more pain and is back to doing what he loves best, and that is carpentry. I'am sure he probably has a hammer and nail in his hand right now.

Les we love you and you will truly be missed. You will always be in our hearts.

So that is that. Brings tears to my eyes all over again. I remember just like yesterday being in the funeral home and saying our last goodbyes. Last year right after his passing, we taught Caden that Grandpa Les Bug was in heaven, and to point up to him when we ask him where he is. Today he said "Love you" and blew kisses up to heaven.

Les, I hope you know how much you were loved, and are thought about everyday for the rest of our lives. Until we meet again.......

Buffalo Bisons Game!

Go Courtney and Caden GO!!!!

Caden coming up to Home Plate!
Way out there you can see Caden in the yellow shirt and to the left, Courtney coming up to home, I'll give you a hint, she is the tall one!

So I am now just finally getting around to writing a post to put up with these pictures! Last Sunday, Kym, Mike, Courtney and Caden, enjoyed a day at the ballpark with other parent group families. Thanks to Maria and Keri for the tickets, however we missed them deeply as they weren't able to share in the fun with us! After the game, we all took the kids down to the field and they got to run the bases. Caden and Courtney had a ton of fun! I was pretty impressed with how well Caden was considering. Other then having to get up a trillion times for potty breaks it wasn't too bad. Although the bisons lost, it was nice to have a mini reunion with some of the other families! Thanks Maria and Keri! We MISS Wednesday Nights!!!

I loved that the two of them were sharing such a peaceful moment.

Bored??
Christine with Matthew and the other christine. Chris is the Grey T-shirt, We were trying to catch some tee shirts!
Caden & Mike
Heading for potty break #5?
That's better Court
Spinning the wheel.
Caden playing in the rows.

Outside of the Ballpark.

Sensory Friendly "UP"

I am so super excited this! Before this movie even came out I had seen previews and knew it would be something I wanted to see. I also contemplated taking Caden along. He has never been to a movie theatre before, for obvious reasons. I was hoping though that we could go and make the best it. Well I got a couple emails from a couple friends and then again in some Special Needs newsletters that I am a part of. So one of the local movies theatres by us has decided to become part of the family of theatres in the US that shows "Sensory Friendly Films" for special needs families! This special showing, which is at 10:00am this Saturday caters to families with special needs that are unable to attend regular showings. A sensory friendly show consists of the following:

A safe & accepting environment for individuals with autism and other disabilities.

Lights are turned up and the sound is turned down

Your able to bring in your snacks (gluten and casein free for those on special diets)

No previews or advertisements prior to the show

Movie theatre etiquette is NOT enforced. The children are free to dance, walk, shout out or sing during the movie. AMC's Silence is Golden policy is NOT enforced unless the safety of the audience is in question!

Our local theatre would like to make this a monthly event, and this will be the first "test" run with it. The tickets are also only $4 a person, which is amazingly cheap!! So Meema is going to watch Colin for us and we'll be taking Caden and Courtney to see the show (as long as Mike isn't working nights still that is!)

The Transition Begins!

So this weekend we went and ordered Colin's new full size mattress. It won't be in for about a week, so I figured in the mean time that we would start the transition now and turn his crib into the day bed, so he has some what of a feel for it. The past couple of weeks, he has learned how to climb out of the crib and was not sleeping well at all- getting up before 4:30 and 5:00am daily. So I thought the bigger bed would make a difference. he "helped" me set up the rails and take the crib apart to turn into the bed, and loved it when it was done! He didn't even want to be rocked, just went right to the crib and went to sleep! He even slept until almost 7am today! Yeah!! So as soon as the mattress comes in next week, the Day bed will be converted to a Full Size Big Boy bed!! Yippie for Colin! Now... I just need to find a comforter with Frogs on it!! (a cute one at that)

All Changes Happen for a reason

I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason. I firmly believe that I suffered so severely from PPD after Caden's birth so that I would able to handle the trails we were to face from his disabilities. I firmly believe that Colin was conceived when he was, because Caden needed him to learn from. And most recently I firmly believe that Mike was put to nights and forced to find a better job for many many reasons.

So starting there, it's been a long 10 or so days. I haven't posted because neither I nor Mike were in the correct frame of mind to post anything. Last Wednesday Mike was told that he "most likely" would be getting moved to the night shift, mind you nights in Mike's company is actually afternoons/evenings. He leaves around 12:30pm and comes back home at 12:30am. What kind of life is that when you have a family? So we sit and wait for word. 2 days later, we get the news. Nights as of this week. But not just ALL nights, no, they split his shift, which is not much better. 2 days a week he works early morning/afternoon. One day a week he is home by 7:30am, then from Thursday until Sat he is on the nights (figures) so he isn't home AT ALL from Thursday until Sunday basically. AND the only reason is home on Sunday, is so can adjust his sleep schedule to go back to the morning shift. What Asses these people are. We did know that the contact his company was carrying from the post office was up as of July 1 anyway, so we knew changes were to be coming, however they also knew that by moving Mike to this shift that they were not only screwing him momentarily, but in the long run as well. Since usually whoever bids the contracts and gets it, typically takes the driver of said run. meaning mike would have dumb hours well forever. Ugh. Not only did this effect Mike, but our entire family. We have no babysitter, and I have been having to take off 1/2 days to cover Mike's shift. My dad has been helping out as well in the mornings when we need him as well. Caden and Colin have NO idea why daddy who puts them to bed every night is gone?? So after the stress of all of that we talked and decided that Mike would look into possibly returning to his previous job at Quikrete. With that comes a pay cut and most likely a lay off during the winter, but at this point, we needed to do what is best for our family. Money does NOT make a family, does NOT run our lives and as much as it's needed to pay the bills and keep our home, it is NOT my priority. My family is and always will come first. So although we will need to find a new babysitter, revamp our bill paying skills and cut ends whenever possible, this change is for the best and happened for a reason. Mike will now have a "normal" job, be home every night, every holiday for the first time in 5 years AND every weekend! Some people take for granted these things, we don't. For the past 5 years we have always had to work around the job, for once, we wont' have to! AND he even got approved for our vacation in October! How awesome is that???!! Without pay of course, but who gives a hoot, we get time off together!

So needless to say, these days have been beyond stressful for Mike and I. Mike was not eating or sleeping well and I caught myself slipping alot into places I do not ever want to be again. This has been extremely hard for me because of past history. As many of you know I suffered from PPD after Caden's birth. During that time, Mike was also working nights. As soon as Mike told me last week that he was going back to nights, the first thought that came to my mind? PPD - not that I am suffering from such a thing, but it resurfaced all of those old memories and I doubted myself alot. I was getting panic attacks just thinking about Mike leaving. That was the darkest scariest time of my life and unless you have been there and lived "it" you can never fully appreciate the life you have coming out of it. You NEVER want to think those thoughts or feel those feelings ever again. This change in hours brought back ALL of that. I am SO SO thankful for the many many friends I have found , who have suffered right along side of me and who understand. they know when I am slipping, they know the right things to do, the right things to say, and even pick up the phone and call me long distance to make sure I am all right. How do you EVER repay someone for that?? I emailed 2 of my closest friends early this week my exact feelings, that I didn't think I could do this, for 3 days they talked me out of that dark place. They are truly angels who came to me for a reason. PPD happened to US so we could stand by one another through all of this. Oddly enough, all 3 of us have children with special needs. That bond will never be broken ever.

We were lucky enough to find out yesterday before Mike left for work in the afternoon, that he would be able to return back to quikrete, knowing that will make these next days of "nights" bearable for me. And for Mike. Mike is a much happier, less stressed person since getting that phone call, and I am very Glad to have my Mike back! I missed him!

So although I am forced to take 1/2 days off of work until we find childcare and will be having to cover even more shifts once Mike starts back to quikrete, it is all worth it in the end and as I said before - Everything happens for a reason.