I got a hug!

For those who don't know Colin the way we know Colin, or before Meds, the best way to explain him is....being kept to himself I guess. He's never been one to be lovable or cuddly. If he gets hurt, he doesn't want you to comfort him or kiss the pain away, in fact he'll get extremely angry if you do. If he is sad, he won't come to you for some loving to help him feel better. It's just all part of who he is, and always has been. Even as a baby, the only time he wanted to be cuddled was when he was nursing, when he was done, he would be just that - done. Get me off your lap and let me go now. We actually Looked forward to the times that he was sick, since he would sit on our lap and not move. It was the only time that would happen.   I know I've posted alot about Colin lately, but I can't help but to share all the changes that I am seeing in him since he's began his meds. The double dose of them to be specific.

The best way to explain it and this is what I keep saying, Is that I am finally being let in, and learning to know who Colin "is" after 4 years of NOT really knowing him all. I feel like this little person in front of me now, is exactly what he's meant to be all these years, but couldn't and didn't know how to do so. Thankfully with intervention, he is able to be. It's kind of like adopting a child in toddler-hood, and trying to figure them out. It's wonderful, amazing, scary (since your still treading lightly) and exhilarating all at the same time. He is so willing to love. So open to hugs. So excited to tell you things, and learning and loving how to show his feelings. He tells us when he is sad or upset. If he gets a boo, boo, he'll show it to you (you still can't touch it) He thrives when we give him all the positive feedback that we possibly can (before, he would yell back at you and say NO, and put down positive feedback) We even took him to church on Sunday for mass and he was wonderful!! (as wonderful as a 4 year old, who is developmentally younger is expected to be) I was so proud of him, I just kept telling him all day long! Caden too was good, it was so awesome to sit in church as a family, in one pew the ENTIRE mass. We've N.E.V.E.R done that before.

Yesterday - I came home from work, took of my coat, hung up my purse, and Colin came up to me and gave me a hug. I looked at Mike, and I know he knew what I was thinking. There is NO better feeling in the world. This is the first time, Colin has ever came up, willingly and hugged me, without any prompts, or reasons behind it. What a feeling. I love that he tells me numerous times while I am laying with him before bedtime that he loves me. I know he means it too, he's not just saying that because it's what he "should" say.

A friend of mine (Scott Buchanan) said it best on facebook last night. he said congrats,that window is opening. And it is! Colin is finally after 4.5 years of being behind it, finally opening the window and letting us into this world. Teaching us, who he really is. I am loving learning all about him.